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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. Iโ€™ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Sheโ€™s got style. Sheโ€™s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. Sheโ€™s a lady.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didnโ€™t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Just landed via Instagram:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thereโ€™s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

โ€œStalkingโ€. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Just shared via Slack:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like itโ€™s a business decision.

Just shared via Twitch:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and Iโ€™m running away to join the circus.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Witty quote about forgetfulness and healing, with a humorous take on memory loss.
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Commentary:
Looks like I need to sign up for Forgetting 101! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿง โœจ

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I donโ€™t have any patience because it takes too long.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

39 shares on X this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

This summer Iโ€™m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, theyโ€™re the ones who can sign you into a home.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

81 shares on X this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

99 shares on Slack this month:

โ€œAI is coming for your jobsโ€. Iโ€™d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person weโ€™re avoiding at the grocery store.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Men donโ€™t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When I said you had a โ€œserial killer faceโ€ I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, Iโ€™m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

If you donโ€™t have at least one white friend named โ€œMattโ€, then you are Matt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Facebook:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Making waves on Instagram:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Please text me back. Iโ€™m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Spotted on Discord:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Making waves on Twitch:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I die, I hope Iโ€™m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Shared recently on Slack:

Twitter hits different, cause itโ€™s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Breaking via Threads:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Going bananas on X:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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