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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Making art is making love to the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Freshly posted on X:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Going viral on X:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Spotted on X:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

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The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.
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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma—adulting in a nutshell! 🍽️🤔 Who knew the true test of maturity was mastering the art of deciding between cereal or leftovers? 🥣🥡 Just remember, no matter what you choose, calories don’t count after 9 PM! 😅✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

14 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

45 shares on Threads this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Just shared via Twitch:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Spotted on Messenger:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Shared recently on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Trending via WeChat:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

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