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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Making waves on YouTube:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Seen just now on X:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Making waves on Messenger:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Just shared via Reddit:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

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Commentary:
Two lovebirds eyeing each other like they're deciding who's the appetizer 🍽️👀💋

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Long story short, I survived.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Trending via Reddit:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Making waves on Discord:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Going bananas on Slack:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Just shared via Threads:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Just landed via Facebook:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Just shared via WeChat:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

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