Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Freshly posted on X:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Trending via Snapchat:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Just landed via X:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Live now on Snapchat:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Going viral on Slack:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Shared recently on Threads:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Trending via YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the Wi-Fi drops, suddenly I'm a philosopher questioning if we're just data packets in the universe's grand network 🤔💭📶

2, humor, i, internet, life, minutes, outage, patience, start, technology, thinking, Wi-Fi, wifi, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

0

5 months ago

back, being, break, break up, cool, cool stuff, date, dating, humor, i, lame, lingo, relationship, shit, slang, stuff, taught
Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

0

5 months ago

contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work
You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drinking, fun, humor, need
I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, apology, awkwardness, dead, embarrassment, humor, i, pretend, public, saw, social, social anxiety, sorry
I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

0

2 months ago

eye, eyes, heat, humor, i, ID, just, laser, laser eye, lazy, something, soup, superhero, too
Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

0

4 months ago

around, date, eating, grape, humor, lay, lounging, naked, over, painting, relaxation, renaissance, Renaissance painting, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

38 shares on X this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

34 shares on X this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Making waves on Telegram:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Going viral on Messenger:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Trending via WeChat:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Just shared via Slack:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Breaking via Facebook:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Just shared via Instagram:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Trending via Slack:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨