Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Trending via YouTube:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Just landed via Facebook:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Breaking via Threads:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why pay for therapy when you can have a Grammy-winning performance in traffic? 🚗🎤🎶"

activity, car, free, fun, fun activity, health, loud, mental, mental health, nice, relief, singing, stress, stress relief, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing
The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

0

2 months ago

chill, future, history, needs, nonsense, semester, teacher, world
How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

0

2 months ago

bargain, Goodwill, humor, hunting, retail, shopping, shopping trip, store, thrift, thrift store, trip, wordplay
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

0

2 months ago

comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing
Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

0

2 months ago

cook, humor, relationship, shower, temperature, water, women
The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

0

2 months ago

band, band name, Cranberry, creativity, fruit, great, humor, joke, music, name, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Just landed via Pinterest:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Breaking via X:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Trending via Pinterest:

About to form my very first opinion.

Going bananas on Threads:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Making waves on Slack:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Live now on WeChat:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Breaking via Messenger:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨