Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Trending via Snapchat:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Just shared via Messenger:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Just landed via Reddit:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Just shared via Instagram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

2 months ago

0

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of embracing minimalism even in your reading habits! 📚💁‍♂️ Who knew skimming the blurb could be both literary and minimalist at the same time? Maybe the author will appreciate your dedication to the minimalist art of book consumption! 😄

author, believe, blurb, book, great, humor, i, irony, minimalism, new, read, reading, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

0

2 months ago

after, coworker, flirtation, hit, humor, i, joke, just, know, let, lucky, lucky man, man, picture, saw, sleep, want, wife, workplace
Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

0

2 months ago

adult, exhaustion, here, humor, over, request, responsibility, someone, tired, too
I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, change, changing, game, heart, humor, people, thank, top
The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

0

2 months ago

action, commitment, confidence, exactly, going, hottest, hottest thing, integrity, man, said, thing
You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

0

4 months ago

art, artist, Bob, Bob Ross, ever, humor, just, landscape, liked, nature, painting, ross, tree
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, laughter, life, positivity, short, short life, smile, still, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on X this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Trending via Instagram:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Making waves on X:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Spotted on Telegram:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴