Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Spotted on Instagram:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Just landed via Discord:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Just landed via Telegram:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about the humorous unwritten rule of borrowing from mom’s house.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mom's house: the original Amazon Prime, but with more cookies! 🍪📦😄

available, family, home, house, humor, mom, need, possession, rule, something, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

84 shares on Slack this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

90 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Live now on Snapchat:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Making waves on X:

The world started without permission again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Just landed via Instagram:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Just landed via X:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Spotted on WeChat:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Keep the laugh going 😂

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨