Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Just landed via WeChat:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Trending via Reddit:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Reported on X:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Trending via X:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

6 months ago

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

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Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Spotted on Messenger:

69 but we both just farting.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending via Threads:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending via X:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Going viral on Discord:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Trending via Pinterest:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

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