Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Just landed via Threads:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Trending via Discord:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Shared recently on Telegram:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Going viral on Facebook:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.
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Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

34 shares on X this month:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

97 shares on X this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

36 shares on X this month:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Just landed via Messenger:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

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