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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Going viral on Reddit:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Making waves on Slack:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

2 months ago

0

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

0

2 months ago

belief, humor, joke, magic, me, money, payment, put, rid, scam, send, someone, spell, think
Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

0

2 months ago

always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells
If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

0

2 months ago

animal, elephant, exaggeration, humor, i, imagination, joke, sorry
It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, days, humor, only, realization, realize, sucks, Thursday, time, Wednesday, week
There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

0

2 months ago

car, disconnect, humor, level, self-deprecation, singing, talent
Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Just landed via Twitch:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just landed via Reddit:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Trending via Reddit:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Spotted on TikTok:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Live now on Instagram:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Making waves on WeChat:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

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