Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Going viral on Telegram:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Just landed via TikTok:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Trending via Twitch:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Breaking via Threads:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about workplace sarcasm and subtle revenge in text form.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Threads this month:

Oh good. Another day.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

93 shares on X this month:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Just landed via Slack:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Just shared via Facebook:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Trending via Messenger:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Never trust a wet fart.

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