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Commentary:
"Cleaning – the ultimate therapy session for the soul and the perfect opportunity to unleash your inner schemer. 🧼✨💭 Prepare to scrub away the mess both in your home and in your mind… while plotting your diabolical yet tidy revenge! 😈🧹 #CleaningTherapy #RevengeIsADishBestServedClean"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

1 month ago

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The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

1 month ago

activity, before, best, dating, freedom, fun, fun activity, independence, life, meet, pre-meet, relationship, single, single life
To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

1 month ago

big, clock, humor, joke, me, oversized, payback, pun, stole, theft, time
Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

1 month ago

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What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

1 month ago

being, cooking, flip, food, humor, jolly, lighthearted, pancake, perspective, something, think
Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

2 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Making waves on Messenger:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Spotted on Twitch:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Going bananas on Telegram:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

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Activity Log ✨

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

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There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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