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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2034 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,196

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,196

1 second ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Trending via WeChat:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Spotted on Threads:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Making waves on Discord:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

6 months ago

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

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Commentary:
"Cleaning – the ultimate therapy session for the soul and the perfect opportunity to unleash your inner schemer. 🧼✨💭 Prepare to scrub away the mess both in your home and in your mind… while plotting your diabolical yet tidy revenge! 😈🧹 #CleaningTherapy #RevengeIsADishBestServedClean"

activity, cleaning, ever, every, humor, meditative, mindfulness, perfect, person, plan, planning, reflect, revenge, single, something, time, wronged

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2034 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,196

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,196

1 second ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Spotted on Facebook:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Just landed via Threads:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Reported on YouTube:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Just shared via Telegram:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Breaking via Instagram:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Just shared via WeChat:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Seen just now on TikTok:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

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