Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Just landed via Instagram:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Trending via YouTube:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Just shared via Slack:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Witty quote about wishing for a silent, positive-thinking brain, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brain version 2.0: Now with 70% less stress-inducing whispers! 🤖🧠✨

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

46 shares on Threads this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

15 shares on X this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Shared recently on Messenger:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Just landed via Discord:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Just landed via Reddit:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Spotted on Slack:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Trending via Telegram:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴