Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Just shared via Facebook:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Going viral on Threads:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

0
This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brain upgrade needed! Battery's at 5% now 😂📚🔋

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

85 shares on Discord this month:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

79 shares on Facebook this month:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

38 shares on X this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Breaking via WeChat:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴