“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

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The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.