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🤣📺 When your husband's love for sports gets a little too aggressive, just whip out those tariff threats! Who knew trade negotiations could also be part of marital bliss? 💼🏈 #TradeWarsAtHome #SportsVsTariffs

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There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

1 month ago
commentary, country, diversity, every, humor, multicultural, people, satire, should, social, social commentary, zoo
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

1 month ago
academy, blame, comedy, culture, doing, entertainment, film, generation, good, humor, humor quote, i, idea, movy, much, nostalgia, police, police academy, pop, pop culture, stuff, stupid, thought, too
I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

1 month ago
ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit
I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

1 month ago
childhood, food, great, hard, hard times, humor, hyena, i, laughs, survival, times, wild
Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

1 month ago
bad, bad intention, greeting, humor, intention, intentions, sarcasm, worst
Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

1 month ago
call, gap, gap year, humor, procrastination, taking, time, time off, vacation, year

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I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

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I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

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They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

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I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

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Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

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“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

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When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

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Just landed via X:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Trending via Pinterest:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Making waves on Discord:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Live now on Snapchat:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

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If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

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Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

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Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

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