Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Making waves on Discord:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Going viral on X:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Just shared via YouTube:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a dating app where you can find both love and that elusive printer ink! 🖨️❤️😆

app, convenience, dating, dating app, humor, nearby, people, printer, sharing, technology, Tinder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, danger, dead, ever, found, humor, i, irony, nature, pet, trying, wildlife, woods
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

0

1 month ago

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

0

2 months ago

back, dark, dark humor, ever, humor, joke, life, life support, me, medical, medical humor, plug, resilience, sarcasm, support, unplug, works
Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

0

1 week ago

account, authentication, before, code, humor, just, login, microsoft, need, notification, OMG, security, send, sign, sign in, signed, someone, technology
People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

0

2 months ago

allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

0

2 months ago

cracked, egg, friend, friendship, good, good egg, humor, loyalty, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

32 shares on X this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Breaking via Slack:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Just shared via Facebook:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Spotted on Threads:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Just shared via Discord:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨