Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.
  • Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”
  • Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.
  • Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.
  • Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.
  • I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.