Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Just landed via Facebook:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Making waves on TikTok:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Making waves on Threads:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Breaking via Facebook:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Making waves on Discord:

Live now on Twitch:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You're basically my time-traveling mini-me! 👶🕰️😂

age, coworker, family, humor, joke, me, son, workplace, year, younger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

0

2 months ago

communication, frustration, humor, i, mad, me, message, relationship, response, telepathy
Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

0

2 months ago

again, annoying, children’s, children’s shows, dogs, exactly, humor, just, life, life span, live, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, pets, shows, span
Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

0

2 months ago

away, escape, escape room, everyone, getaway, humor, just, plans, room, solitude
Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, conversation, etiquette, everyone, hate, noise, people, public, speakerphone, talk
I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

0

2 months ago

age, anything, home, humor, i, journey, life, never, parents, stop, understand, understanding, wanted, where, work
If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

0

2 months ago

anger, cape, ever, fun, humor, joke, mad, me, playful, put, sarcasm, super, superhero, teasing, wit, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Just shared via Instagram:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Going bananas on Slack:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Making waves on Slack:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Live now on Twitch:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨