Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.