Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Going viral on YouTube:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Just landed via X:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Just shared via Messenger:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Spotted on Messenger:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Trending via WeChat:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🔥😂 I guess "calm and collected" just isn't in the cards when your brain is doing the cha-cha and your soul's hosting a bonfire! 🙃💥

am, fire, head, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, never, nonchalant, personality, self-awareness, soul, unfortunately, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

0

4 weeks ago

am, change, humor, i, lifestyle, love, mean, means, morning, noon, routine, sleep, sleeping, sleeping in, time, used
Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

0

1 month ago

breakup, ex, humor, jealousy, love, relationship, sarcasm, thinking
“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

0

1 month ago

humor, i, irony, knowing, lie, myself, optimism, reality, self-deception, struggle, worse
Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

0

2 months ago

bun, day, enough, exercise, hair, humor, just, lazy, lazy day, put, self-care, today, workout
If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want
I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

0

1 month ago

being, comfort, coming, cozy, home, i, inside, introvert, love, relaxation, sitting, staying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Discord this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

11 shares on Threads this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Going viral on Twitch:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Spotted on Slack:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Just landed via YouTube:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨