Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Making waves on TikTok:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Making waves on X:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Breaking via Slack:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Just shared via Slack:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Books: guaranteed shelf-improvement! 📚😄

asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

0

3 months ago

devil, eating, ever, food, good, humor, making, taste, temptation, trick, unhealthy, unhealthy eating, unhealthy food
The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

0

4 months ago

account, bank, bank account, battery, comparison, drain, faster, finance, humor, money, only, phone, phone battery, spending, technology, thing
Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, celebrate, celebration, course, dark, happy, outside, parents, return, yes
If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

0

4 weeks ago

attraction, awkward, desire, forbidden, humor, me, person, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

0

4 months ago

another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

47 shares on X this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

18 shares on X this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Spotted on Reddit:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Just shared via Slack:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Trending via Discord:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Making waves on YouTube:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Spotted on Reddit:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Shared recently on X:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Going viral on Telegram:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨