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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Making waves on Twitch:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Shared recently on Twitch:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on TikTok:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Books: guaranteed shelf-improvement! 📚😄

asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

0

2 months ago

end, game, humor, ICU, injured, injury, peekaboo, play, playing
Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, encouragement, every, got, humor, i, motivation, myself, routine, self-talk, tell, weirdness
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

0

2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth
Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone
Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, close, danger, dangerous, distance, dressed, metaphor, nature, people, personality, storm, storms, sunset, unpredictability
Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

0

2 months ago

decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

44 shares on Twitch this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Breaking via TikTok:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Trending via Instagram:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Going viral on Slack:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Making waves on Slack:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Going viral on TikTok:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨