Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Making waves on Instagram:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Going bananas on Messenger:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Seen just now on X:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Broadcasted on X:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Just shared via Twitch:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just when you thought it was safe to change the channel… 📺🙃 Breaking news: it's still unpleasant! 😂📰

another, breaking, breaking news, coverage, horrible, humor, interrupt, interruption, news, sarcasm, story

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

2 months ago

activity, annoy, humor, long walk, me, people, sarcasm, walk
There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

2 months ago

controversy, culinary, culinary controversy, debate, food, food debate, fun, humor, laws, pineapple, pizza, pizza topping, quirky, topping
Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

2 months ago

Friday, humor, last, lasts, Monday, motivation, procrastination, slump, time, week, work
Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

2 months ago

carey, celebration, Christmas, conception, everyone, humor, immaculate, immaculate conception, knows, mariah, Mariah Carey
I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

2 months ago

1999, bills, finances, humor, i, nostalgia, party, pay, responsibility, want
I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

2 months ago

alcohol, money, pasta, ramen, vodka

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

77 shares on X this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

29 shares on Slack this month:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

35 shares on YouTube this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Live now on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Trending via WeChat:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Just landed via YouTube:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Going bananas on Slack:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨