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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Just landed via Twitch:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going viral on Twitch:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Spotted on Twitch:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Spotted on Threads:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

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We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Fact check: Everyone has their 'hot mess' moments—some just look hotter doing it! 😂🔥 #EqualOpportunityTerribleness"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

51 shares on Discord this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

58 shares on Instagram this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Just shared via Instagram:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Live now on Pinterest:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Breaking via YouTube:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Shared recently on Slack:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

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