Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Live now on Instagram:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Fact check: Everyone has their 'hot mess' moments—some just look hotter doing it! 😂🔥 #EqualOpportunityTerribleness"

appearance, attractiveness, critique, hot, hot people, humor, important, judgment, know, people, social, social critique, stereotypes, terrible

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, child, furniture, guess, humor, i, next, pancakes, parenting, sticking, sticky, syrup, week
Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

0

5 months ago

6, airport, am, beer, drinking, early, early morning, free, humor, judgment, lawless, lawless place, morning, no judgment, place, problem, travel
That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

0

2 months ago

corner, frustration, humor, losing, me, microsoft, Microsoft Word, revision, technology, word, writing
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

0

2 months ago

bag, crisps, family, food, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, snack
I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

0

5 months ago

bar, before, crash, disappointed, disappointment, even, Google, humor, i, instruction, instructions, listen, name, results, sarcasm, search, under, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The peace of not knowing.

92 shares on X this month:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

93 shares on X this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

In banana years, I am bread.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Just shared via Instagram:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Trending via Telegram:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Seen just now on Instagram:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Spotted on WeChat:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨