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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

59 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Spotted on WeChat:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Spotted on Slack:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Just shared via X:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Live now on Instagram:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

3 months ago

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about starting a conversation with a bang 🔥💥! It seems like this mother-in-law's decision caught everyone off guard – talk about dropping a hot tea bombshell! 😂 Let's just hope the temperature isn't cranked up too high for this family get-together! 🫖🧥 #TeaTimeTales

blue, coat, conversation, cremated, cremation, day, family, having, humor, i, joke, mother-in-law, said, tea, want, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

59 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Trending via Threads:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Making waves on X:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Reported on Slack:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Going viral on Reddit:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

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