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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Going viral on Facebook:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Just landed via Twitch:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

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We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about starting a conversation with a bang 🔥💥! It seems like this mother-in-law's decision caught everyone off guard – talk about dropping a hot tea bombshell! 😂 Let's just hope the temperature isn't cranked up too high for this family get-together! 🫖🧥 #TeaTimeTales

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

63 shares on X this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

87 shares on X this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Just landed via Threads:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Live now on Reddit:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Going viral on Facebook:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

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