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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Making waves on Reddit:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Live now on Discord:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Trending via Facebook:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Breaking via Slack:

I need a break from me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Seen just now on Instagram:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to fast-forward through Monday's cinematic universe 🎬😩⏩

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

0

4 months ago

bed, breakfast, cute, food, gross, humor, morning, practice, theory
I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

0

2 months ago

anything, conversation, episode, humor, i, interesting, island, knowledge, learn, learning, love, Love Island, reading, saw, say, show, subtitles, TV, TV Show
There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

0

2 months ago

cheese, culture, food, humor, photo, photography, reason, salad, smile
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want
“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

0

2 months ago

date, funny question, guy, hallucination, humor, question, relationship, seeing, someone, therapist, therapy
“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

0

2 months ago

conversation, General, general inquiry, humor, inquiry, right, sarcasm, self-reflection, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

33 shares on Threads this month:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

94 shares on X this month:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

54 shares on X this month:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

56 shares on TikTok this month:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via Messenger:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just landed via Threads:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Live now on Telegram:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Breaking via Snapchat:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Shared recently on Threads:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨