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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Making waves on Snapchat:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Going viral on Discord:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Spotted on WeChat:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Clearly, your TV needs a higher IQ setting! 🤦‍♂️📺😂"

comedy, day, frustration, humor, i, people, rant, said, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, television, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

0

2 months ago

advice, birth, birth control, control, humor, i, inspiration, parenting, relationship
At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

0

2 months ago

age, hours, humor, last, life, microsleep, rest, sleep
Nobody rots in bed like I do.

0

2 months ago

bed, humor, i, lazy, nobody, procrastination, rot, sleep
It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

0

2 months ago

argue, baby, crazy, daily, day, every, first year, humor, life, parenting, year
I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

0

2 months ago

bonus, bonus features, brevity, communication, features, humor, i, irony, punchline, say, short, story, storytelling, tell
Can we not just call it Zealand now?

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, suggestion, wordplay, Zealand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

21 shares on Discord this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Spotted on Telegram:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just shared via WeChat:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Going bananas on Telegram:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Broadcasted on X:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Just landed via Twitch:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Going viral on Twitch:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨