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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Making waves on Discord:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Spotted on X:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Just shared via Discord:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This explains why the kids keep dropping hints that Santa needs a GPS upgrade! 🎅🗺️😄

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

0

2 months ago

being, humor, ignore, ignored, intelligence, IQ, media, sarcasm, social, social media, Twitter
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

0

2 months ago

actually, argument, arguments, around, conversation, dialogue, full, funny thought, having, head, i, inner, inner dialogue, mad, me, mood, said, someone, something, thought, walk
Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

0

5 months ago

call, depressed, depression, eating, eating habit, fasting, financial, financial struggle, habit, health, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, mental, mental health, poor, poverty, struggle, sure, well
Take my advice, I’m not using it.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, sarcasm, self-deprecation, suggestion, take, wit
I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

0

3 months ago

break, conversation, disbelief, friend, friends, guys, hate, humor, husband, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, joke, just, real, relationship
Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

0

5 months ago

back, cop, firearm, give, humor, joke, negotiation, nose, police, telling, threat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

92 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

51 shares on Threads this month:

I like you because we hate the same people.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Spotted on Discord:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Going viral on YouTube:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Spotted on Facebook:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Going viral on Reddit:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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