Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

198 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,467

Funny Quotes Topics

17,530

Funny Quotes Images

15,467

Updated

Jan 4, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Making waves on X:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Shared recently on Discord:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going viral on Instagram:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Shared recently on Threads:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Trending via Threads:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's called being a humble-brag magician: magically insecure and overconfident at the same time! 🎩✨😎😅

better, confidence, else, everyone, full, humor, insecure, insecurity, paradox, people, personality, personality trait, room, same, self-esteem, situation, social, social situation, super, think, time, trait, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I suffer from awesomnia.

0

2 months ago

awesomnia, comedy, humor, i, insomnia, issues, sleep, sleep issues, wordplay
I got bills. They’re multiplying.

0

2 months ago

adulting, bills, expenses, finance, humor, i, money, multiplying, struggle
If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

0

2 months ago

am, cheese, cooking, food, here, humor, i, indulgence, much, reassurance, recipe, too, worry
Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

0

2 months ago

galaxy, guard, guardian, Guardian of the Galaxy, guards, humor, movie, movie reference, pun, reference, retail, retail security, samsung, Samsung store, security, security guard, store, superhero
The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

0

2 months ago

being, call, difference, dog, humor, kid, main, name, parenting, pet, response
I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

0

2 months ago

conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Going viral on Twitch:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Trending via Twitch:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Just landed via Slack:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Breaking via Telegram:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Spotted on Reddit:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Going viral on Threads:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Going viral on Threads:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I suffer from awesomnia.

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨