Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Shared recently on Discord:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Spotted on YouTube:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Live now on Telegram:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid negotiation tactic with the metabolism gods! 🍕🤝😂

appearance, body, designating, gain, humor, i, preference, should, weight, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

0

2 months ago

activity, addicted, addiction, communication, everyone, good, humor, i, joke, just, know, listener, listening, media, online, online activity, say, social, social media, technology, Twitter, want
Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

0

2 months ago

compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why
Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, anything, argument, concede, i, leave, leave alone, me, online, sociopathic, stranger, trying, win
Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

0

2 months ago

animals, both, eyes, face, fish, front, humor, observation, perspective, think, weird
Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

0

2 months ago

celestial, galaxy, humor, joke, Nasa, playful, selfie, selfie humor, space, star
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Spotted on Reddit:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Spotted on X:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨