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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cereal box literature: where I learned the alphabet and the magic of a balanced breakfast! 📦🥣😂

box, breakfast, cereal, cereal box, childhood, humor, i, just, kid, nostalgia, phone, phones, read, reading, tablet, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

0

2 months ago

disassociation, funny moment, humor, i, late, moment, procrastination, self-care, shower, sorry
Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

0

2 months ago

cooky, craving, delivery, food, humor, just, online, online shopping, pizza, shopping, start, waiting, websites
Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

0

2 months ago

change, drinking, dry, Dry January, February, fun, humor, January, month, play, play on words, seasonal, seasonal change, sopping, Sopping Wet February, wet, words
To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

0

2 months ago

bed, comedy, dialogue, guards, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irony, playful, sleep, take, wit
Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

0

2 months ago

baby, gifts, humor, irony, men, newborn, presents, three, Three Wise Men, wise, worst
It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

0

3 months ago

expectation, expectations, humor, Monday, motivation, please, sarcasm, voice, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

28 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

11 shares on Threads this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Just shared via Instagram:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via Telegram:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Breaking via Twitch:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨