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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Just shared via Slack:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Going viral on X:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Going bananas on Slack:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Just shared via Reddit:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Making waves on WeChat:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I love a well-stocked fridge full of optimism and expired dreams! 🍋🥗😂

eat, food, fridge, going, hands, humor, i, laziness, lemon, lemons, life, me, next, procrastination, put, salad

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

0

3 months ago

back, cave, chain, human, humans, humor, illusion, media, philosophy, plato’s, Plato’s cave, social, social media, technology
I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

0

2 months ago

am, car, dating, delivery, done, food, food delivery, humor, job, people, priorities, relationships, sites
I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

0

2 days ago

Avatar, born, disappointment, fandom, humor, i, interest, unfortunately
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

0

2 months ago

apology, church, congregation, funny situation, humor, i, missionary, misunderstanding, situation, volunteers
Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

0

2 months ago

always, back, crush, humor, people, relationships

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

60 shares on X this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Just shared via Facebook:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Live now on X:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Making waves on Telegram:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Going viral on Reddit:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨