Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about jumping the gun! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe your calendar predicted the future date? Or you’ve mastered the art of time travel? ⏳ Either way, oopsie! 😅 #TooEager"

accidentally, before, date, even, event, excuse, i, miscommunication, situation, social, social situation, whoops

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

2 months ago

asking, curtain, down to earth, Earth, expectations, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, over, relationship, shower, shower curtain, someone, touch, want
People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

1 month ago

decimal, difference, humor, joke, math, math humor, missing, misunderstanding, number, numbers, people, point, pun, tell, whole, wordplay
“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

4 months ago

access, article, article limit, before, frustration, humor, internet, limit, monthly, monthly limit, never, online, online reading, reading, subscription, today, website
I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

4 months ago

bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why
A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

1 month ago

college, college education, education, expectation, financial, financial investment, humor, investment, irony, life, not get, pay, person, student, student life
Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

1 month ago

activity, body, humor, longer, me, physical, physical activity, self-care, stretch

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Just landed via Messenger:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Going viral on TikTok:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏