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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Who you are when youโ€™re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Iโ€™m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

โ€œPTOโ€ stands for โ€œprepare the othersโ€ because you’re not gonna be there.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Going viral on Twitch:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Donโ€™t ask me for advice.

Live now on TikTok:

Itโ€™s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Reported on YouTube:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Trending via Threads:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Yโ€™all can keep the nonchalant ones โ€” I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Trending via WeChat:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Reported on Messenger:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.
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Commentary:
"Life is the ultimate 'pay to play' game… but where's the refund policy? ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ˜‚ Hang in there, hopefully the sequel is more fun! ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ˜œ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

God, Iโ€™m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

I donโ€™t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. Itโ€™s syncing right now.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on YouTube:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Just landed via Telegram:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Just landed via Instagram:

Iโ€™m sorry I said โ€œI look forward to working with youโ€ during our wedding vows.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Just shared via Snapchat:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Live now on Pinterest:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just landed via Slack:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

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