Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Trending via Threads:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via WeChat:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Spotted on Threads:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Trending via Slack:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Because by night, my inner night owl finally gets to party 🎉🦉💫

better, call, calls, driving, eating, entertainment, everything, music, Netflix, night, phone, phone call, shower, vibe, watching, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

0

2 months ago

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

0

3 weeks ago

argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

0

2 months ago

able, direct, handle, humor, irony, nature, outside, plant, sunlight
I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, confused, confusion, daily, daily life, easily, evening, humor, i, life, morning, tiredness
Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

0

2 months ago

fears, hours, humor, just, me, rule, sleep, tears, uninterrupted, want, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Making waves on Threads:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Just landed via WeChat:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Shared recently on X:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Breaking via Telegram:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Just shared via Threads:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨