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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Just landed via Telegram:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Seen just now on Slack:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Going viral on X:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

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Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.
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Commentary:
Haha, I'm, like, literally nothing without those words too! 😂🗣️✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

52 shares on X this month:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Trending via YouTube:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Shared recently on Telegram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Going viral on YouTube:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

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