Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Just landed via Messenger:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Going viral on Twitch:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Shared recently on X:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Live now on WeChat:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Going viral on Discord:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

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Commentary:
Finding extra money in my account feels like discovering a treasure chest full of ice cream! 🍦💸😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Twitch this month:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

45 shares on Messenger this month:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

90 shares on X this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

40 shares on WeChat this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

88 shares on Discord this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Spotted on Instagram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Breaking via Instagram:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

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