Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

430 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,699

Funny Quotes Topics

17,717

Funny Quotes Images

15,699

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just landed via TikTok:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Spotted on Slack:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Seen just now on Discord:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Breaking via Telegram:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Trending via Instagram:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your boss has a memory lapse and temporarily enters the alternate universe where you live in the office 😂🤔📅

asked, boss, conversation, humor, i, job, living, me, question, work, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

2 months ago

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly
Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

2 months ago

animal, boy, comparison, dog, dogs, good, good boy, humor, just, nature, nobody, pets, wolf
I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

3 months ago

balm, beauty, beauty rest, bedtime, bedtime routine, being, care, girl, girly, girly girl, going, i, just, lip, lip balm, love, moisturized, rest, routine, scent, self, self-care, skincare, sleep, soft
Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

2 months ago

company, conversation, having, here, humor, insane, interaction, just, self-talk, yourself
You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

2 months ago

age, growth, humor, life, never, old, older, stupid, too, wisdom
If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

6 months ago

emotional, explode, explosion, humor, i, joke, mood, mood ring, personality, ring

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

68 shares on Discord this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Going viral on Telegram:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Spotted on Threads:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Trending via Pinterest:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Trending via Instagram:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨