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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Just landed via Slack:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Making waves on Slack:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Spotted on YouTube:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Just landed via Instagram:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Making waves on Discord:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Making waves on Twitch:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Playful quote about freedom from posting dance videos, humorous and lighthearted.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I dance, even my mirror asks for a refund. 💃🪞😅"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Discord this month:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

89 shares on Slack this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

6 folks are currently checking 👀

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Just landed via Slack:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Trending via Telegram:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Live now on WeChat:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

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