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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Making waves on Telegram:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Making waves on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Just landed via YouTube:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Just shared via Messenger:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When even the dice can land you behind bars faster than a private jet 🚔😂💸

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

0

2 months ago

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm
Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, creature, disappeared, even, fear, humor, just, spider, surprise, worse
Thaw me like one of your french fries!

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, joke, me, playfulness, pun, romance, thaw
Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

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2 months ago

actually, education, humor, imagine, life, management, procrastination, spent, student, student life, study, studying, time, time management
Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

0

5 months ago

adult, custody, divorce, family, Funny, having, humor, mom, parent, parents, sibling, siblings, today
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

0

2 months ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

51 shares on X this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Just shared via Instagram:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Shared recently on Instagram:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Breaking via TikTok:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨