Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Just landed via TikTok:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Live now on Snapchat:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Just shared via Discord:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When even the dice can land you behind bars faster than a private jet 🚔😂💸

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Live now on Pinterest:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Live now on Pinterest:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨