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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1721 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,883

Funny Quotes Topics

14,709

Funny Quotes Images

11,883

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Going viral on X:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Going viral on Messenger:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just shared via X:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Just landed via X:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
👑 "With all these crowns being handed out, I'm starting to wonder if the Burger Kingdom is running a monarchy or a clearance sale! 🏷️🍔😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1721 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,883

Funny Quotes Topics

14,709

Funny Quotes Images

11,883

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Just shared via WeChat:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Spotted on YouTube:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Going viral on Telegram:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Seen just now on Discord:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Trending via Facebook:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Shared recently on Discord:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Trending via Threads:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

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