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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Reported on WeChat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Seen just now on Reddit:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Breaking via Discord:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

5 months ago

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! 🐦 At least it’s still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. It’s probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! 🙈 Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! 😎 #BirdsWithoutBoundaries

animal, animal humor, bird, comedy, dead, door, embarrassed, event, flew, funny moment, glass, glass door, humor, just, moment, nature, unexpected, unexpected event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Freshly posted on X:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Spotted on YouTube:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

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