A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”