Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Shared recently on Slack:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Just landed via Instagram:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Trending via Reddit:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just shared via Discord:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Trending via X:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Witty text about waiting to text, humorously referencing old-school dating advice.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like he's mastering the lost art of waiting! Next, he'll be sending messages by pigeon 🕊️📜😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on YouTube this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You give my middle finger an erection.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Breaking via X:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Just landed via Reddit:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Making waves on Discord:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Spotted on Threads:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

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