Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Just landed via Reddit:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Making waves on Instagram:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Live now on Twitch:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Balancing my macros: 50% exercise, 50% tacos 🌮🏋️‍♀️😋

after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

0

1 week ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want
How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

0

2 months ago

am, date, eat, eggs, food, food safety, funny question, good, humor, i, naming, past, question, safety, still
A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, hammock, humor, news, place, receiving, receiving news, relaxation, situation, terrible, uncomfortable, uncomfortable situation
Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

0

2 months ago

body, frustration, humor, i, own, photography, picture, pictures, self, selfie, step, take, wish
Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

0

2 months ago

everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, Satan, tell, work
If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

0

2 months ago

across, awkward, awkward situation, fingers, going, head, hello, humor, mind, night, room, say, situation, squish, squishing, stare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨