Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Trending via YouTube:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Just landed via Messenger:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Making waves on Threads:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Going viral on Threads:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Going viral on TikTok:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Spent 6 hours in a serious 'think tank' only to realize I was just fishing in a puddle! 🧠🤔🐟😂"

6, actually, after, big, deal, decision, hours, humor, i, indecision, overthinking, perspective, procrastination, relief, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

0

2 months ago

am, comparison, friendly, humor, i, mood, personality, temporary, weather, wit
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

0

2 months ago

detox, digital, digital detox, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, just, life, novelty, phone, phone usage, right, surprise, technology, time, usage, using, whole
Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

challenge, humor, i, irony, just, just do it, me, motivation, Nike, personal, personal challenge, procrastination, reluctance, want
One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

0

4 months ago

daughter, day, family, got, humor, husband, i, know-it-all, parenting, personality, personality traits, Sassy, say, traits, wait
God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

0

2 months ago

bad, criticism, divine, God, humor, irony, life, perspective, self-reflection
The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

0

3 months ago

behavior, bump, even, female, female behavior, feminine, feminine urge, humor, hurt, i, ouch, pain, reaction, say, things, urge

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Making waves on Facebook:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨