…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

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Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

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I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

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If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

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Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

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I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

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All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.