Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Going bananas on Messenger:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Going viral on X:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Spotted on WeChat:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Just landed via Telegram:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Shared recently on Discord:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Going bananas on WeChat:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Introvert Alert 🕺🥳: I'll be there, scouting out the snack-covered shadows like a pro! 🌚🍕"

activity, coming, corner, escape, event, found, fun, fun activity, hide, hiding, humor, i, lights, noise, party, social, social event, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

2 months ago

appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself
Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

2 months ago

aliens, communication, extraterrestrial, good, humor, request, thanks, time
All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

2 months ago

ask, asking, born, childhood, family, humor, kids, know, parenting, sense, sixth, sixth sense, something, time, timing, worst
People should come with warning labels.

1 day ago

humor, interaction, label, labels, people, personality, should, social, social interaction, warning, warning label
Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

3 months ago

advice, always, broke, dark, dark humor, financial, financial advice, humor, irony, money, motive, murder, stay, stay broke
Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

1 day ago

away, chore, daily, daily chore, day, dry, exist, fold, humor, laundry, manage, management, people, put, put away, question, same, time, time management, wash

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

62 shares on Threads this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

87 shares on Slack this month:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

48 shares on WeChat this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Trending via Messenger:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Trending via Pinterest:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Just shared via Reddit:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Live now on YouTube:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Just landed via Reddit:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

People should come with warning labels.

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨