Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Just landed via Threads:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Going viral on Threads:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Just landed via Reddit:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Breaking via Discord:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mixing up scents like a true fragrance DJ! 🎧💨💐#ScentSational

bisexual, care, deodorant, humor, i, identity, just, means, men’s, men’s product, perfume, personal, personal care, product, scent, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

0

2 months ago

comedy, diet, food, grains, humor, vegan, zombie
I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

0

2 months ago

A-list, back, big, clothes, fan, feeling, game, laundry, post-laundry
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

0

2 months ago

communication, entertainment, humor, new, podcasting, self-talk, talking, term, used, yourself
What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

0

2 months ago

again, ankle, experience, humor, incident, mosquito, never, night, tonight
Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, everyone, forget, humor, personality, self-esteem, ugly
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

97 shares on Threads this month:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

49 shares on Discord this month:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Trending via TikTok:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Just landed via Facebook:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Trending via YouTube:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨