Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Just landed via Threads:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Breaking via Twitch:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about breakfast in bed turning cozy blankets into a messy scene.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My bed's gone from cozy to crumby faster than I can say 'toast-astrophe'! 🛏️🍞😂

accident, bed, blanket, breakfast, cozy, crime, crumb, food, humor, mess, morning, scene, snack, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

2 weeks ago

activity, funny activity, gardening, house, house plant, humor, indoor, indoor plant, light, nature, next, plant, plants, rain, window
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

1 week ago

aging, eyesight, failing, humor, mirror, nature, older, past, self-image, shock, stress, walk
Overthinkaholic!

3 weeks ago

addiction, funny word, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, personality trait, trait, word
I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

3 weeks ago

BBQ, food, humor, i, longing, me, relationship, thoughts, wonder
At what age do I delete Snapchat?

1 week ago

age, age-related, delete, digital, humor, i, media, Snapchat, social, social media, technology, youth
No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

7 days ago

complaint, defense, hr, HR complaint, humor, legal, me, office, workplace

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

48 shares on X this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

15 shares on Discord this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

13 shares on Discord this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Just landed via Instagram:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Going viral on Telegram:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Going viral on Messenger:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Going bananas on X:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Overthinkaholic!

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨