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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Making waves on WeChat:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Trending via Twitch:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Going bananas on Discord:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Trending via Instagram:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Just shared via Slack:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Trending via WeChat:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Breaking via Twitch:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my addiction to procrastination is right on track! 😅🛋️⏰

30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fight, flight, flyer, frequent, frequent flyer, humor, joke, response, travel
I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

0

2 months ago

grounded, humor, i, responsibility, self-deprecation, shoulders, stay, weight, world
The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, bed, bedtime, being, best, childhood, children, disappointed, disappointment, early, fun, going, humor, i, irony, parenting, told
My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

0

2 months ago

always, busy, coworker, coworkers, distraction, humor, just, memory, office, password, remember, think, trying, work
Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

0

2 months ago

chip, chips, classic, classic combo, Coca Cola, combo, funny observation, guy, just, knows, lay’s, Lay’s chip, observation, seen, snack, stuff, yellow
I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, Copperfield, disappear, humor, i, jealous, magic, mess, messy, saying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

20 shares on Slack this month:

My life is based on a true story.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

48 shares on X this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

96 shares on Slack this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Making waves on Instagram:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Making waves on Instagram:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Spotted on Reddit:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Live now on WeChat:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Live now on Slack:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨