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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Going bananas on Reddit:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Trending via Slack:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Making waves on X:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Spotted on TikTok:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

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“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sending off the orange with big expectations for its day at school! 🍊📚 May it avoid getting 'squished' in the lunchbox drama. See you later, citrus friend! 😄 #SchoolLunchAdventures"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Making waves on Messenger:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Breaking via Instagram:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Trending via X:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Spotted on Reddit:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Trending via Slack:

The shitshow must go on.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Spotted on TikTok:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

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