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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Going viral on Slack:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Trending via TikTok:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Just landed via Reddit:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

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Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.
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Commentary:
When I go out, the only thing that turns into a pumpkin is my bank account! 🎃💸

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

34 shares on Discord this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

96 shares on X this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Going viral on Slack:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Just landed via Slack:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Going viral on Instagram:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

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